Log
Saturday 1st January 2005
I feel a bit rough today, not as bad as i think i deserve. No headache. I text a few people at midnight, it's funny in the pub, there's everyone just sat there tapping on their mobile phones - the networks were jammed solid, i just got a few more texts from people this morning. I got texts from Steph's sister Sam and her Mum which was nice, they got me xmas presents as well which she said she's gonna try and drop off one night.
Barry's coming down tomorrow, i won't go out again tonight, i've been out the last 3 nights and it's catching up now. Not sure what else i'm up to this weekend. Might go over to my Dads today to see how the decorating's going. Once i feel i can drive safely.
Sunday 2nd January 2005
I am friggin shattered today, i'm going to have a quiet night in tonight - i guess xmas and new year is over now so no more excuses for drinking excessively and not doing any work for 2 weeks. damn. I'm just gonna take it easy tomorrow, try not to think about going back to work tuesday!
I'm so tired i can't be bothered to type any more.
Monday 3rd January 2005
I managed to have a long lay in this morning. Then for some crazy reason i thought i'd go to tescos - that was clever. I've ordered some new personal business cards, 25 for less than a tenner, if they're any good then i'll get some more - i'm determined to get even more work this year, i need the money!
I impressed myself last night, i suddenly thought "i think it's Sam's birthday tomorrow" - that's Steph's sister - and i was right. I remembered someone's birthday. huh, i wonder if that's a start of new things this year, me remembering stuff. nah, i shouldn't think so.
I'm so broke this month it's not even funny. And i've got to start paying the maintenance fees again this month - if they'd actually do any work it wouldn't burn me up so much. But, the lights in the hallways are always blowing, the carpark is a mess and the response they gave about us claiming the bins are provided by the council and not them (even though we gave them money last year for bin rental), sucked. Still, i think our community will get it sorted out, we don't spend all this money and expect a crap service.
I've also noticed something else. Every now and again i'd hear a bang that shakes the building. I was sat on the sofa and after the bang saw someone running from the newsagents below with a paper. It's their door downstairs, it slams really loud. I'll have to pop in there one night this week to tell them about it. Can't believe i've been here almost a year already.
oh yeah, back to work tomorrow.... woo.... hoo....
Wednesday 5th January 2005
I'm feeling pretty low at the moment, not sure why. It's been coming the last week or so, i just feel completely drained and like nothing is going right. Great start to the new year, eh!?! I'll just see how things go this week, but starting this weekend i'm going pick myself up again. If any of the family reads this, don't worry about me, i can't stand discussing stuff i write on here - this is just a good way to vent it out. Like i said, i'll be fine by the weekend.
Problem with feeling, i guess it's a little depressed, is you do things that you shouldn't have. I guess they're cries for attention to try and make yourself feel better. Then when they fall back in your face it just makes you feel worse. It's a viscous circle. Sometime the best thing is to just take some time for yourself, let any stupid things you've done be forgotten and start fresh.
I used to rely on Steph to get me out of the ruts but i've had to do it myself the past year.
Ha, look at me getting all deep on my log. Always helps writing stuff down though. Just remember family people, don't talk to me about this!!!
Wednesday 5th January 2005
One day, if, no, when i've got the money I would love to fly to the states, maybe New York. Then buy a car, one of those classic American cars, size of a tank - a cadillac would be cool. Then drive all the way down the East coast to Florida. Through Washington DC, Atlantic City (for a bit of gambling), North Carolina, Atlanta, and down to Miami. Then back up to New Orleans, along the south coast, Houston, El Paso. San Francisco, Las Vegas (a bit more gambling), Los Angeles and up the west coast to Seattle. And fly back home.
How cool would that be, there's not enough memory cards for my camera in the world for that trip! Who knows, maybe one day i'll be writing on here that i'm in each of those cities. That would be cool.
Thursday 6th January 2005
Just got in. Been out for a drink with Sam, hadn't seen her for ages - before they went to Florida in September?? We had a good time, we've always got on well - we both have a our own mild tempers 
And she had xmas presents which i've just opened!! She got me the 2005 Girls of Holyoaks calendar! she knows her audience. We'll definately try to get together more often.
I'm in a really good mood this evening, Sam cheered me up. I have found something that usually cheers me up too, just thinking about how lucky i am to have what i have, my family, friends, a place to live, enough money to get me by. There's a lot of people a lot worse off than most of us. My thoughts still go out to all those in SE Asia and to all those people it has affected.
Sunday 9th January 2005
Been a very good weekend. Just like i said it would be! See, just shows what positive thinking can do, eh?!
Finished off some work friday night, had to be done, plus it brings in the ££. Saturday my Dad helped me pick up the tv that my Uncle has given me (i can't thank him enough, it's very very very generous of him). We set it up and watched a movie and grabbed dinner from over the road. I just chilled saturday night and watched my big arse tv.
I was up till about 2am just watching tv and playing games on it, so i had a bit of a lay in this morning. Went to a pub quiz tonight - AND WE WON!! we got a crate of Stella, so my fridge has some beer in it again. Then Dave went and won the 'Play your cards right' game, and scored £75 for himself, not a bad night all round.
Now i'm going to get some sleep.
Monday 10th January 2005
Big Brother, that program really starts to annoy me. The celebrity one started last week. I never watch it to start with, i always find it really boring. But then sometimes there is nothing else on when i'm watching tv, like tonight, and i've ended up watching it. They brought Sylvester Stallones mom in tonight, oh my god, she doesn't look healthy - looks like she's got inflatable lips.
I don't really know many people in there, even though they are "celebrities". John the racing guy was sulking from what i could see because they took his Diet Coke away - urm, wtf? It's Diet Coke, it's not like they took away his air. It all seems a bit fake to me.
Tuesday 11th January 2005
I still think the internet has got to be one of the best inventions ever. How else would people from all over the world be able to talk to each other, or meet new people, new friends. And i know some people, usually people who don't use the internet much, think that it's a bit sad having friends on the internet - i'm sure they'd have a different opinion if they open their minds. I have a lot of online friends, i've met a few of them and of course they're normal people - and normally people who i have something in common with.
Most days i help people out with web development problems, the usual html/css/javascript/php/mysql/whatever. And that's what friends are for, and online communities. But people don't just help with work problems, i've vented out plenty of times, just like writing on here, telling people your problems helps more than anything else. Other people have vented and we all offer advice, help, sympathy, whatever seems right - how would people get that sort of attention without the internet from people all round the world, with different views and completely different backgrounds.
Probably the worst thing is that people can just dissapear - and i've seen it happen. People just stop talking, stop posting and replying. Sometimes no one knows what happened and they are never heard from again, other times they suddenly come back without explanation or with some big news, and other times someone does find out that something bad has happened.
Wednesday 12th January 2005
No one seems to be very happy at the moment. Not sure if it's just some sort of new year blues or what. I'm feeling good, but everyone i speak to seems to be just "ok". I'll do my best to cheer everyone up, but one man can only do so much!!
I got a letter through today from the maintenance people who look after the carpark, hallways and all that. And i use the phrase "look after" loosely. Apparantly our contract has changed to someone elses portfolio, and he says that he is going to sort out all the problems - with the lights, doors etc... well, we'll see i guess.
Thursday 13th January 2005
I'm in such a good mood this week i'm starting to annoy myself! And i really don't know why. Can't believe it's friday again tomorrow, this year is gonna fly by at this rate. I'm so busy at work as well, i had a million things to do when i got to work this morning, and by the time i left work this evening i had million and two.
I've rearranged a few things in my living room because of my new tv. I can now see all my dvds, which is handy but i still really want something to hang on my wall above the radiator. I'm thinking maybe a mirror, idealy a three piece mirror - you know, with one big mirror in the middle and two smaller ones either side, something like that. Not sure where to get one yet.
Sunday 16th January 2005
As you might know the hairdressers that i go to downstairs is full of hot girls, one of the reasons i look forward to my 5 weekly haircut. Which i even book appointments for in advance - no, i'm not metrosexual, it's just easier that way. Well, last week when i went i had a different girl cut my hair than usual, and she was really nice. I hadn't spoken to her before but we got on really well. So yesterday i figure, what's the worst that could happen if i phone her up at work and ask her out for a drink or something. At worst she says no, and i can handle that. But it turned out she wasn't working, dammit. So i think i'll try her during the week. It'd be nice to find a date for valentines.
I booked an appointment with the bank next week to sort out the mortgage as well, hopefully that'll give me a bit of extra cash every month if everything works out ok. My dad's also getting a bit excited about an idea that we have, he asked me to knock up a web page - i think i might have surprised him with how fast i had it done. I hadn't touched the javascript file system object for years, it still sucks.
Anyone know how to defrost chicken properly? Had sweet and sour chicken last night and put the rest in the freezer, don't know what to do with it now...
Monday 17th January 2005
We won the pub quiz again last night! Two weeks in a row! We're not the most popular people in there, and my fridge is starting to bust with beer. It was a good laugh though, we didn't think we had it this week but the last round is a wipeout round - if you get one wrong, you lose all the points from that one, so if you don't know it leave it blank. But we got all 10 and got an extra 5 points for that, which won it for us.
Took me ages to get to sleep last night so i'm knackered this morning, probably from drinking coke at the pub - i should stop driving so that i can have a few drinks, least i'll sleep better then.
Tuesday 18th January 2005
So we went to go out to lunch to play some pool and get to the end of town and there is a fire truck there. Turns out someone had driven into a telegraph pole and they'd closed off the roundabout so we couldn't get through. We figured we'd leave it an hour and try again. Nope, still there, now there coppers there too. We took the very long way round and got stuck behind a tanker trying to go down a single track road and eventually got to the pub. I can't quite figure out how someone hit the pole though...
I had chicken tikka for dinner tonight, and naan bread. I went over to the shop and knew i needed to get some rice, naan bread and chicken. I got back home and what did i forget? the chicken. Good thing the shop is just over the road, i'd of been pissed if i'd have to of gone to tescos!
Thursday 20th January 2005
Haven't felt this ill for a long time, it took me all day to even get to the computer. It started yesterday, i was in town and i was in so much pain walking back to my car i didn't think i was going to make it. It was like someone was stabbing me in my chest and it was going right out the back. I went to work yesterday afternoon (i had the morning booked off) but i was in so much pain at my desk i think i was a bit short with everyone. And my breathing is really wheezey, i'm just aching the whole time. I guess it's some sort of flu or something.
I was just about to phone my dad to say i wouldn't be in so not to wait for me and my step mum phones to tell me that dad can't move. Ok, same thing then. I've just been in bed all day but it even hurts to lay down, i can just about get away with laying on my left side. I've managed to eat a bit of toast but it hurts to swallow too.
I did dig out some beechams cold and flu tablets which i'm taking at as close a intervals as i can, i'm due again at 7. They seem to be helping with the pain a bit. I've got a ton of washing up to do so don't think i'll be getting any dinner tonight. I could do with a nurse to look after me, that's the problem with living on my own, no one to look after me when i'm sick.
Really didn't need to be sick right now either, i've got so much work on and feel so guilty about taking time off. There was no chance that i could have done any work though, it is so painful hunching over the desk and sitting on my hard office chair. That march deadline is creeping up fast.
Friday 21st January 2005
Not much better today. Not in as much pain but breathing is not good at all, i get out of breath getting a drink, thought i was going to pass out going to the chip shop last night - i was starving. Hope i didn't infect anyone. I think it must be flu, i was just looking on the bbc site and found this and some other stories. Looks like they expected an increase in flu cases.
Guess i'll be in all weekend trying to get well. It's grans birthday monday, so if i'm not better i won't go round, she doesn't need this. Got quite a busy week next week too. I'll just keep drinking water, orange juice and popping these flu tablets.
Saturday 22nd January 2005
I must have watched more tv over the last 3 days then i have all year. It's about the only thing i can do that doesn't make me out of breath. I went over to the shop earlier, i've got no food in, and when i got back i was knackered. I'm now dosed up on max strength lemsip.
I'm just watching that new Desperate Housewives. I caught the episode during the week but i'd missed the 2 before it and they're playing all 3 right now. Plus seeings that i've slept all day for the last 3 days i'm starting to turn nocturnal.
I'm bored of being ill.
Sunday 23rd January 2005
Feeling a lot better today, still having trouble keeping my breath and have a slight pain at the top of my chest - but i am feeling better. I'll be at work tomorrow i think, with my lemsip max strength. I've just been across to the shop again, donning my kickers hat that i found earlier - it's cold outside today.
Talking about things i found earlier, i was actually having another look for my hub and network cables (because i'm fed up with using a 128Mb memory stick to transfer stuff to my laptop). I found that hat which i used to wear when i cycled to work years ago, but i also found some old photos and a photo cd. It was photos of a holiday i took with Steph the first year we were going out to Tenerife - and there was one of her topless! I remember taking it on the boat, i remember her saying something about taking it high up but i was a bit cheeky. That was a wicked holiday, we had a great time - i don't know if Steph ever reads this but i'm sure she'll remember the holiday - she almost got got a few times on the bus, she'll know what i'm talking about.
And i never did find my hub and cables. I think they might still be in Stephs mum and dads garage, they're definately not here.
Tuesday 25th January 2005
I'm back at work! I was starting to get cabin fever being stuck at home. I'm still coughing like crazy but i'm feeling a lot more awake today. I need to feel better because i'm going out tonight. I've stocked up on lockets from the shop so they should keep me going through the day.
Holy hell i've got a lot of work to do. There's not going to be enough hours in the day. And this application we've been working on is really starting to get busy now, customers using it on a daily bases - that's what we want!
Tuesday 25th January 2005
How busy was today?!! I'm going to have to start doing some overtime to get all the work that i've got on done. Through the coughing and more coughing i got a lot done and we have some sort of plan to get everything done in time. We're being optimistic at least.
Had a really good time tonight. It was the 1 year anniversary in the hairdressers downstairs, i thought it would be rude not to go. It was cool to spend a bit more time with the girls down there, one of them especially, i still haven't made my mind up about her though - we'll see. As i was leaving one of the girls asked when my next appointment was, she said that it was too far away, she's nice as well - i'm going to get a bad reputation down there if i'm not careful.
It's funny, however much i'd like to have a girlfriend, being single and chasing girls is probably one of the most exciting things i can think of - well, i can think of some exceptions. I shouldn't have drunk that wine.
Wednesday 26th January 2005
Today started off a bit rough. My car can be a bit temperamental, for instance, if you try and start it and it doesn't go then it tends to flood the engine. Now, I know how to clear it but it takes 2 pairs of hands - i don't have arms that can bend round from the engine bay to the ignition. I managed to grab one of my neighbours as he was on his way to work. First thing he said was that he didn't know anything about cars (doesn't seem like anyone does anymore??), so i told him he only had to turn the ignition! So he did, i disconnected the fuel pump, plugged it in just at the right time and bingo, off we go.
I wasn't going to write anything, but i just had a look at my logs to see what search terms people have put in in whatever search engine they use and some of the things that bring them here are very strange. The latest one which made me laugh was "bad girlfriend uk" on msn search, shex.co.uk comes up NUMBER 1! Other recent ones i can see are "topless tenerife", "calvin and hobbes" (i don't know), "housewives pics" and practically any swear word you can think of. I'm so proud of what i've created.
Thursday 27th January 2005
I finished the book i've been reading last night, it's The Street Lawyer by John Grisham, he was the guy that also wrote The Firm and The Client. It was good, better than i thought it would be. I only bought it because it was the best one i could find while i was in Spain, they didn't have that many english books. Obviously it's about a lawyer, but it's really about how his whole life changes over just a month. He goes from being a big shot lawyer with a huge firm in Washington D.C. to being a street lawyer dealing with the homeless in a small street clinic. He didn't just decide one day, the book starts with how he and some of his colleagues were held hostage by a homeless guy who was wrongly evicted.
It's very true how quickly things can change, i was actually talking to someone about that today. Things can completely change from one day to the next, for the better or for the worse of course.
Friday 28th January 2005
My cough is really coming on, anyone would think that i'm a chain smoker or something. I guess it'll get better eventually... Worked my arse off again today and i'm going in tomorrow to get some more tasks finished.
I just finished watching Ricky Gervais Animals, it's was good, he always has me in stitches. I really want to go see him live and Peter Kay as well, i think he's brilliant.
Tell me if this is wrong or not. It's just before midnight now, i've got to get off to bed soon to get up early for work, and i can hear my neighbours music. So, i just put on Green Day and cranked my music up a bit (not excessively) until i couldn't hear his any more - sounds fair to me. I wonder if he's stopped it yet?
Sunday 30th January 2005
It's really early, i just got home and am a little drunk. Had a good night, we actually managed to stay in one place tonight. I probably shouldn't be writing stuff on the internet, my typing starts to go a bit funny when i've had a drink, my fingers seem to have a mind of their own - if you know what i mean.
I went to work this morning, it turned out quite productive - i got a lot done. I didn't like getting up so early on a saturday though, haven't had to get up that early for work on a saturday since i worked on a helpdesk. I don't mind going to work on a saturday so much, it's just that work is so far away.
We were talking earlier about going to war, it kind of stemed from watching Farenheit 9/11 earlier in the week. We decided that we'd only be able to shoot to kill if we had any real moral reasons for killing anyone, and that if anyone could shoot to kill without reason was probably some sort of psychopath. It makes sense really, believe it or not a quote from Jurassic Park 2 earlier, preditors only kill when hungry and humans are the only creatures to kill when not hungry. Well, we are the only creatures that care about religion and oil i guess, you don't see elephants killing each other for oil or shouting over which god exists or who is good or evil.
